


Waking

by dsa_archivist



Category: due South
Genre: Drama, M/M, Romance, Slash, Valentine's Day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2000-02-15
Updated: 2000-02-15
Packaged: 2018-11-11 00:36:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11137761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dsa_archivist/pseuds/dsa_archivist
Summary: Note from Speranza, the archivist: this story was once archived atDue South Archive. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address onDue South Archive collection profile.





	Waking

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Speranza, the archivist: this story was once archived at [Due South Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Due_South_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Due South Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/duesoutharchive).
    
    
     
    Disclaimer: Alliance owns Welsh, Diefenbaker, Fraser, Ray, Huey, Dewey
    and Frannie. The rest and the story are mine. The quote that Fraser reads
    is from 'A Midsummer Night's Dream' by Willam Shakesphere. Act 3, Scene
    1 
    
    I'm not a fan of Valentine's Day, so this isn't a shiny, happy story.
    Genie, I owe you a happy, sappy story and you will get it. 
    
    WARNING: R for M/M SEXUAL SITUATIONS, BAD LANGUAGE, VIOLENCE, DEATH STORY
    . IF BOY-ON-BOY DOESN'T DO IT FOR YOU, WALK ON BY, GO AWAY, BUG OFF.
    Thank you kindly. 
    
    Waking
    by Rae
    
    He tilts his head, watching the blood pool beneath the body at his feet.
    The last one. He closes his eyes for a moment, listening to sound of
    the approaching sirens. There is nothing left now. Around him the bodies
    of four other men lie, eyes open, staring ahead. Four men. Powerful men,
    rich men. Mobsters. They had everything, but they had to take away what
    was his. He looks again at the body closest to him. He sees the man as
    he was just a few minutes ago. Not so proud, on his knees, begging for
    his life. *It was an accident.* An accident. The bullet meant for him
    had killed another. An accident. Was that supposed to make it better?
    *We didn't want to hurt him, but you left us no choice.* No choice. There
    is always a choice. *Do you think we'll let you walk away! You're dead!*
    Dead, yes.  Already dead. Inside.  He leans against a pillar now, waiting.
    The sirens are getting closer. It won't be much longer. He smiles sadly,
    thinking of the one he has lost. *I'll be with you soon, love.*   
    
    
    *
    
    
    
    18 hours earlier:
    
    
    
    "Have I ever told you how beautiful you are?" Detective Ray Kowalski
    blushed, turning away from his lover. "Ya gotta stop saying that.", he
    mumbled quietly, struggling with the blue and grey tie around his neck.
    "Why?",came the curious response. Ray turned, looking at Constable Benton
    Fraser. The Mountie stood in the doorway of the bedroom, drying his hands
    on a dishtowel. "Cause I'm gonna get a big head.", he replied. Ben smiled
    warmly, eyes twinkling. "I don't think it could possibly get much bigger."
    Ray pouted. 
    "Oh, thanks alot.", he said, "Isn't there some rule about having to be
    nice to your significent other on Valentine's Day?" Chuckling, Ben walked
    toward him, putting his arms around his partner's waist. "No, I don't
    think there is a rule." Ray put his arms around his lover's neck. Yer
    beautiful.", he whispered. Ben smiled.
    "As are you, Ray."  He kissed the blond's forehead and then his nose.
    "I love you so very much.", he murmured softly. Ray nuzzled the Mountie's
    jaw. "Love you too.",he replied. Ben drew back and went about fixing
    the detective's rebellious tie. Ray watched with amusement the focus
    his lover applied to the task. He so enjoyed watching Fraser. Every small
    gesture and expression. "What would I do with out ya, Frase?",he asked,
    as Ben turned the collar of his shirt down and fixed his jacket, brushing
    a lint piece from the shoulder. "You would go to court looking positively
    disgraceful.",the Mountie replied playfully. Ray pouted again, trying
    his best to look angry. "That's two, Red. Keep it up and you're gonna
    be sleeping on the couch tonight." Ben smiled, his hand slid down, gently
    cupping Ray's ass through his pants. "Now why would you want to punish
    yourself like that?", he whispered in the detective's ear and gently
    sucked on the sensitive earlobe. Ray moaned, falling against Ben. "No...fair...doing
    this to me....oh, damn." He groaned as the Mountie's lips slid alittle
    bit lower, to his throat. "Oh, Ben....*please.*" Fraser pulled away suddenly,
    licking his lips and  holding a dazed Ray at arm's length. "Are you still
    threatening me with the couch?", he asked. Ray groaned, looking as if
    he was going to cry. "Oh. Ben. That was so mean." The Mountie pulled
    his lover against him, kissing the smaller man passionately. "I only
    wanted to make sure your mind was where it should be today." Ray raised
    an eyebrow. "Oh, yeah? That would be where?" Ben kissed him again.
    "Me." Ray laughed.
    "Great. Like ya not in my head enough. If I walk into court and give
    some answer like 'Yes, Your Honor, the defendant did leave early the
    night of the drop-off. And speaking of leaving early, may I be excused
    so I can go home and celebrate Valentine's Day by jumping in sack and
    making hours of intense love with my partner.', it's your fault." "I'll
    take full responsibility."
    "Yeah, I'll bet ya will." He grinned, reaching up run his finger over
    Ben's lower lip. At once, the Mountie caught his hand and held it, running
    his tongue over the tip Ray's finger. Kowalski shuddered. "Love how you
    get on Valentine's. Love it." Ben smiled, turning Ray's hand so he could
    kiss the palm. "I love you so much, Ray. " He looked at his lover. "I
    can't tell you that enough." The way he looked at Ray was enough to break
    his heart. Many times he'd caught Ben watching him with that same expression.
    Love. It was Ben telling him over and over, without words or actions
    how much he loved and needed him. Ray snuggled close to his partner,
    burying his face against that broad shoulder. "Love you.", he murmured.
    "Yer my whole life. Always love you." Ben held Ray for several more minutes.
    If he could have him like this forever, never let go.... But it was already
    late. Ray had some work to do at the precinct before his testimony. "Ray,",
    he whispered, "I can't keep you here." The detective's long fingers curled
    into Ben's sweater. "Yeah, you can. Don't have to let me go." Ben took
    his lover's face in his hands. "You worked hard trying to put Houstan
    away. Your testimony will put him in prison for a long time." "Yeah,
    I know.", he replied, "But why today? Why Valentine's Day? Don't they
    know I got better things to do than go to court." "Justice is--"
    "Blind. Yeah, yeah. That doesn't make me feel a whole lot better.", he
    muttered. Ben released his detective and gently urged the man out of
    the bedroom. 
    
    
    At the door, he once more adjusted Ray's jacket. 
    "Dinner, tonight?", Ray asked, fidgeting with the cumbersome coat until
    Fraser's careful adjustments were again displaced. Ben sighed, shaking
    his head ruefully. Ray grinned broadly, going so far as to turn up the
    collar. "So, dinner?", he repeated. Ben fixed the collar once more.
    "Yes."
    "You'll make reservations, right?", he asked, again attempting to mess
    with the collar. This time his hand was swatted away. "Considering last
    year you forget to make them.",Ben asked. He caught the hand he had just
    swatted and kissed it. Ray smiled sheepishly. "Hey, ya knew what I was
    when ya got involved with me." Fraser brushed another lint of the detective's
    coat. "I knew what you were. That's why I got involved with you.", he
    replied, opening the door, "Now, go." "I'll see ya this afternoon.",
    Ray said, giving Ben a quick kiss. "Yes." Fraser leaned against the doorframe
    and watched Ray until he was out of sight. 
    
    
    Ben was washing dishes when the phone rang. He held the plate with one
    hand and picked up the phone with the other.. "Hello?" There was a small
    amount of static on the other line and then a voice said, "Fraser?" The
    Mountie smiled, putting down the plate.
    "Francesca--"
    "Is it safe to talk?" He laughed.
    "Yes. Ray has already left."
    "I thought he didn't have to be in court for another three hours." "He
    doesn't. He just wanted to take care of a few things at the precinct."
    He could her beep at someone. "Get off the road you freaking idiot!!"
    Ben held the phone away from his ear as she recited a few more colorful
    obscenities at some poor driver. Finally, she came back on. " Sorry.
    Ok. Well, there's good news and there's bad news." Ben sighed, sitting
    down. "Oh, dear.",he murmured.
    "I'll give ya the good news first.", Frannie went on."I got the rings."
    "What about the restaurant?"
    "You and Ray will have the private room. Candlelight, wine, everything.
    It'll be perfect." "Thank you, Francesca.  I hope it wasn't too much
    trouble."
    "Oh, no trouble at all. Mikey owes me a favor. All I had to do was cash
    in." "I can't thank you enough."
    "C'mon, Fraser. There are very few things I won't do in the name of love."
    She sighed. "Now the bad news. Ma insists on planning*everything* for
    the wedding....including, the cake." Fraser gasped. "Mrs. Vecchio?  I-I
    had no idea that she, uh, approved of...." His voice trailed off nervously
    and Frannie laughed. "She's not a prude, Fraser." The Mountie flushed.
    "Oh, I-I didn't mean to imply--" 
    "I know, I know. Just teasing." Ben's brow furrowed.
    "Why is this bad news?"
    "Cause she's gonna drive the rest of nuts in the process of planning
    this thing." Frannie groaned. "I can just see it now." "It can't be so
    terrible."
    "I love my mother, but she's neurotic." Ben smiled to himself as she
    rattled on. "And I didn't tell her. She found out through Mike, loudmouth
    that he is. Anyway, she's happy for both of you. She says love in any
    form can't be a sin as long as it is love. And since Ray is her, 'adopted'
    son, she insists on getting to plan things. I told her it was *your*
    wedding. She says men coudn't plan a wedding if they were given detailed
    instructions." Ben laughed.  Despite her attempts to be serious, he could
    hear the smile in Frannie's voice. "I'm glad to have her support, Francesca...and
    yours. I can't tell you what it means to us." "You and Ray are family,
    Fraser. Speaking of which, does he suspect anything?" "No, not a thing."
    Frannie squealed.
    "Oh! This is so romantic." She paused. "So, listen, I'm on my way to
    the precinct. I'm going to drop off the rings on the way." "That's fine.
    Thank you, Francesca."
    "No problem, Fraser. Bye."
    "Bye, Francesca." He could hear her yelling at another driver as he put
    the phone down. 
    
    
    He reached for the plate again but again was distracted, this time by
    a knock at the door. Frannie couldn't have been so close.  Perhaps Ray
    had forgotten something. Ben tossed the dishtowel onto the counter and
    went to the door. "Yes?", he said. It was Ray's insistence that he find
    out who was behind the door before he opened it. "Got a message here
    for Detective Ray Kowalski." Ben smiled and opened the door. A man in
    a brown coat and hat stood in front of him. "Hi there. I've got a message
    for you." Ben shook his head.
    "I'm not--"
    "Inside." Ben looked from the man's face to the gun barrel that was protruding
    from beneath the coat. He backed away from the door slowly, letting the
    man enter. "Hands where I can see them.", he ordered. Ben swallowed slowly.
    "You're Detective Kowalski?",the man asked. Fraser closed his eyes. *Ray.*
    Partner. Friend. Lover. "Yes.", he replied. The man waved the gun in
    the direction of the hall. "Bedroom.", he ordered. Ben nodded, walking
    slowly toward the Ray's room with the gunman a step behind. Once inside,
    the man closed the door. "Kneel.", he said, "Put your hands behind your
    head." Ben did as he was asked and knelt facing the bed. Memories flooded
    his mind. Memories of Ray. His beautiful Ray. Who he would protect at
    all costs. His Ray. He could see them now on those lazy weekends when
    neither needed to work. He could see them making love.  He recalled the
    feel of Ray's head pillowed on his stomach, Ray's lips on his own. He
    heard Ray's voice, that soft laughter. That memory is broken by the man's
    voice. "Ya pissed off the wrong men, Detective Kowalski. Can't let you
    testify." Ben closed his eyes. *Ray.* 
    
    
    *
    
    
    
    The door was open. That was strange. 
    "Fraser?" Frannie stepped inside the apartment and peered around. It
    was quiet. "Fraser?", she called again. Where the hell was the Mountie?
    She set the small DeBeers bag on the dining table and went down the hall.
    "Fraser?" It was too quiet. Strange. It was in Ben's nature to leave
    the door unlocked....but certainly not open. "Benton?", she called again.
    Still nothing. She knocked on the bathroom door, waited a moment and
    then opened it. No Mountie. Bedroom. She stepped up to it to knock and
    felt something slippery beneath her shoe. Frannie glanced down. Startled,
    she nearly fell back. He hands went to mouth to supress a terrified cry.
    Blood. There was blood seeping out from beneath the door.  
    
    
    *
    
    
    
    Ray Kowalski was wearing a suitably smug grin as he sauntered up the
    steps of the courthouse. Four years of work, finally laid to rest. He
    was almost to the top when he heard someone call his name. Turning, he
    saw Tom Dewey and Jack Huey coming toward him. He met them half way.
    "Hey, fellas." Huey only shook his head. He took Ray's arm and lead him
    quickly down the stairs and toward a nearby car. "Ray..." Kowalski pulled
    his arm out of Huey's grasp.
    "What?", he asked,"What's going on?" Jack looked at Tom helplessly and
    then back at Ray. "There was a shooting at your apartment. We think Houstan
    put out a hit--" *A shooting.* Ray backed away, shaking his head. No.
    No. No. N-not Fraser. Fraser was fine. *A shooting.* Fraser. Ben. No.
    "Ray!" Huey was holding him by the arms, shaking him gently. "Ray, listen
    to me. Welsh wanted us to pick you up and take you to the precinct."
    "I-I-I......Where's Ben?", he whispered. Again Jack glanced at Tom. "Ray,
    Ben was shot. He didn't make it. I'm sorry.", he said quickly. Ray looked
    at Jack, disbelieving. "Yer lying. He-he doesn't die, o.k.? I've seen
    Ben fall off a car before. He...doesn't...die." Tom put his hand on Ray's
    shoulder. "Look, we know he was your partner and all, an--" Ray knocked
    his hand away. "You don't know anything. You have no fucking idea.",
    Kowalski hissed. Jack came between the two men. "Ray, we have to go to
    the precinct--"
    "My apartment!", he snapped. "My apartment. I......have to see him."
    Huey sighed deeply, looking at the fellow officer who stood in front
    of him. For a time he considered forcing Ray into the car  and taking
    him to precinct, never mind what the other detective wanted. Then he
    gave in. Fraser had been Ray's partner, whatever it was. He deserved
    this much. "Fine. We'll go to you apartment.", Huey said finally. Ray
    nodded appreciatively and got into the car, while Jack held up his hand
    to cut off Tom's objection before it could be voiced. 
    
    
    "Lieutenant!" Huey called out, alerting Welsh of Kowalski's presence
    before the blond could move past him.  Harding intercepted Ray's path
    to the bedroom, quickly taking hold of the smaller man's shoulders. "You
    shouldn't be here, Detective.", he said. Ray shook his head, trying to
    extract himself from the older man's grip. "I want to see him.", he replied.
    Welsh looked at his struggling subordinate. Ray's ice blue eyes were
    devoid of any readable emotion. He knew the score; Frannie had explained
    everything when he had first arrived. Welsh had always suspected. Relations
    between officers was not something he actively encouraged. *This* was
    one of the reasons. The loss of a partner and a lover.....  Slowly, he
    released the detective, allowing Ray to push past him. He listened to
    the sound of his friend's footsteps, waiting until they stopped before
    he turned around. Kowalski was standing in the doorway of the bedroom.
    Off to side, away from the blood. He blinked rapidly, gazing down at
    the covered body on the floor. Harding waited until Ray entered the room
    before he followed. When he got to the doorway, he found Kowalski on
    his knees beside his fallen partner.  He had uncovered the body as far
    as the shoulders, but no further. "Execution style?" The younger man's
    voice was strangely neutral.  When Welsh did not answer, the blond looked
    up at him and repeated question. "Execution style?" The lieuteanant nodded.
    "Yes." He felt sick as he watched Kowalski reach out to tenderly smooth
    the Mountie's disheveled hair.  As soft gasp escaped the detective as
    he drew back his hand, now shaking uncontrollably, to find it wet with
    blood. "How many times?", he asked softly. Welsh could hear the tremble
    in Ray's voice, the loosing battle to control his grief. "Ray....", he
    murmured gently, starting to move toward the detective. "How many times?!",Kowalski
    demanded, the snap in his voice stopping Welsh in his tracks. The older
    man bowed his head. "Twice. With a silencer. The neighbors didn't hear
    a thing." Ray didn't reply. His eyes remained on his partner. Welsh took
    a breath. "Detective, I would like to have a word with you and I would
    rather not do it here." Kowalski stared at him blankly for a moment,
    as if he had not heard the request, or did not understand it. Welsh started
    to repeat himself when Ray rose and said, "Yes, sir."
    
    
    
    After the removal of Constable Fraser's body, during which time Ray sat
    at the dining table and watched the proceedings with a eerie detachment,
    Welsh sent Frannie, Huey and Dewey out of the apartment so he could have
    a word in private with his detective. Ray never bothered to ask what
    Francesca Vecchio had been doing in his apartment. He never bothered
    to ask who discovered the body. Harding found this behavior from the
    usually emotional officer quite unnerving. He set a mug of lukewarm coffee
    in front of the blond and took a seat across from him at the dining table.
    There was still the matter of Ray's testimony.  Ben's death had been
    a warning...or perhaps an accident. Either way, Kowalski's life was still
    in danger.   Welsh was talking, but Ray heard nothing. He saw the man's
    lips moving, but no sound followed. He massaged his temples slowly. *Ben.*
    His Ben. His Fraser. So many memories.... 
    
    
    ********
    
    
    
    "Got another sonnet--quote thingies for me?" Ben glanced up from the
    open book in his hands, looking at his blond lover in surprise. "I wasn't
    aware you were particularly fond of sonnets, Ray....or quote thingies."
    The detective shrugged, closing his case files and tossing them off the
    bed. "I am when yer reading them." He winked suggestively. "Ya make everything
    sound so dirty.  Ben blushed brightly, so that even the very tips of
    his ears turned a shade of red. "It's not something I consciously attempt,
    Ray." Kowalski grinned. "Never said it was bad thing.", he pointed out.
    Ben's expression was priceless. "No. No, you didn't.", he realized, tugging
    at the already loosened collar of his flannel shirt. "So?", Ray asked,
    "You gonna read to me, or what?" Fraser smiled. "Of course." He looked
    through the book, flipping page after page. Ray watched him for a long
    while. Page after page. "Fraser..", he began impatiently. Ben put his
    hand up to silence his partner. "There was one that reminded me of you.
    I am trying to find it." Kowalski sighed deeply and sat back, waiting.
    Finally Ben, pressed a page down and placed the book on his lap. He took
    a moment to read it to himself, memorizing it.  When he finally spoke,
    his soft blue eyes remained fixed on Ray. "Mine ear is much enamoured
    of thy note; So is mine eye enthralld to thy shape;  And thy fair virtue's
    force perforce doth move me. On the first view to say, to swear, I love
    thee. " Ray smiled, crawling toward his lover. "Ya mean that?", he asked
    softly. Ben reached up to caress the slight growth of stubble on Kowalski's
    face. "Yes, Ray." Their lips met in a gentle kiss. "From the very first
    time." 
    
    
    
    
    ******
    
    
    
    
    "I really don't need you here." Frannie looked up from the soup she was
    stirring. Welsh and the others had gone. Despite Kowalski's objections,
    the lieutenant had posted a car outside the detective's apartment. Ray
    was still at the dining table, tracing the patterns on Fraser's blood-stained
    sweater through the evidence bag. "I'm staying whether you like or not,
    Ray.", she replied. "You're family." Kowalski looked at her coldly. "Not
    yours." Frannie dropped the spoon into the sink with a loud clink. "Tough
    shit, *Kowalski*.", she snapped. Ray sighed. He started to open his mouth
    again, but Frannie's icy glare silenced him. As she turned back to the
    fixing the soup, Kowalski fingered the small Debeers bag on the table.
    He turned it over, shaking it until the small box slipped out. It was
    difficult to open and almost snapped shut on his fingers. There were
    two rings nestled in velvet. "W-what are these, Frannie? They weren't
    here this morning." She smiled sadly, wiping her eyes. "Those, um, Fraser
    wanted those. I-I brought them over." She sighed. Her hand came up to
    her mouth quickly to stiffle a soft gasp. "He, er, was going to ask you
    to marry him. It was supposed to be your Valentine's Day gift." Ray chuckled
    humorlessly. "Marry him." He picked up the smaller ring and slipped it
    onto his finger. He raised it up to the light so Frannie could see. "Looks
    good, huh?" She nodded.
    "It looks beautiful." 
    
    
    
    Through half closed eyes he watches the doors of the restaurant swing
    open and a mass of officers enter, weapons drawn. This is not what they
    were expecting. One of the officers takes the radio from his belt and
    communicates quickly with those that were still outside.  Then nothing,
    only silence. A thin smile curls on Ray's lips as he looks at them. They
    don't lower their weapons.  His head falls back against the pillar and
    he closes his eyes. He feels Ben's hands on him, tenderly washing the
    blood from his face and body. He sees his lover's smile, the one that
    had the power to melt him. He feels Ben's lips. *Are you watching, love?*
    "Detective?" He opens his eyes. Welsh is standing in front of him. Ray
    smiles wearily. "Lieutenant....I'm resigning.", he says slowly. "Effective
    immedietly." Welsh's expression is one of absolute horror. He looks around
    at the bodies on the ground. Houstan on his belly, eyes still open, mouth
    twisted into a little sneer. "Did you do this?", he whispers. Ray follows
    his lieutenant's eyes, moving over each body with special care. Finally,
    their eyes meet again. "Yes.",he replies with a nod. He paused for a
    moment. "Hmm, the guys in the blue Buick called ya, right? Figured out
    I wasn't in the apartment." He took a breath. "Frannie's o.k. She's asleep
    on my couch. I, uh, left her a note about Dief.  He needs a home now."
    Welsh shook his head.  That thin smile was still curled on the detective's
    lips. He searched the glittering blue eyes that stared back at him. He
    wasn't looking at Ray, but soneone who hadn't heart, emotion or conscience.
    Harding  held out his hand. "Ray, I'm asking you to surrender your weapon."
    Kowalski closed his eyes. "You can't understand.", he whispered softly,
    another tear following the path of so many others. "You can't understand."
    Taking advantage of the situation, Welsh moved forward quietly, hoping
    the detective would not hear. "You can't understand.", Kowalski murmured
    again. His eyes flew open. Behind Welsh, he saw Ben. His Ben.  Partner.
    Friend. Lover. He smiled. *This is for you, love.* The lieutenant's cry
    caught in his throat as Ray turned the gun on himself. 
    
    End.
    
    Comments:
    


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